Back to school…

unnamed“God, please keep my babies safe.” I’ve whispered that prayer several hundred times. It just kinda comes out when I’m dropping my girls (7 and 9) off at school. It’s not planned…it’s probably not even exactly what I want, but it’s what I ask. (that’s a whole different story) I went all summer without even mentioning it, but here it is, first day of drop off, and I’m on my knees begging God to take care of my “babies.”

I’m assuming that there are other moms that feel this way. If not, don’t tell me. I’m not ready to deal with my kids being away from me…much less dealing with the fact that it may be some sort of emotional disorder. 🙂

Bear with me while I process some of my feelings this morning. #dontjudge

My girls have to have some ownership in the things that happen in their days. Good things will happen. Bad things will happen. Example, this year my seven year old (Allison) is in class with her favorite person in the universe. I didn’t ask the principal for it. I didn’t wish for it. I stayed neutral…trusting that life would be just fine either way. She was over the top excited when she found out. It’s the perfect example of a “good thing.” Allison will enjoy her year more because of it. On the other side of that, there are the bad things. When kids are mean to your kids. When adults treat your kids like they are “just kids” instead of humans. When they are embarrassed. When they are not prepared. When you know there’s something wrong, but neither they nor you can put your finger on what the problem is.

My dad told me this when I was young: “I will let people push you around, but the minute someone pushes you into a corner, I’ll kill them…with a smile on my face.” Now, my dad said that to get my (teenage) attention. #hyperbole #dontfreakout He was making a point. I didn’t get it then, but I get it now. There are moments when I call the teacher. There are moments when I stand in the doorway and watch. There are moments when I walk away and beg God to take care of my babies.

For every moment that I get it right, I get ten moments wrong. I’m okay with getting things wrong…but I still have to deal with the consequences. For me, it’s probably the hardest part of parenting-knowing when to watch and pray…versus stepping in for the kill. #again #hyperbole

Parents…especially those with kiddos that are older…what advice would you give about getting directly involved or stepping back…or something in the middle?

 

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2 thoughts on “Back to school…

  1. Jan Moore says:

    You articulated so many of my parenting fears and feelings. Reading your words took me back like my kiddo was seven once again.

    Just stay present with them like you already are. Know that you will make mistakes and they will too. But God always finds a way to use the pain and screw ups for our good. It’s all a part of the process that makes us better Christians. We grow when we find the message behind the mean girl lessons and the dissapointments and scary times yet to come. So my best advice is to share my biggest regret. I let other things like work and people have my time and attention. Don’t think I’ll ever overcome the regret and pain I feel over all the times I neglected to put my girl first.

    My prayers are with your tender heart. Hang on girl, It’s gonna be one heck of a ride. Let them know how much you care every day, even when they’re away. A note, a text, just be present in their lives, especially when they reach those teenage years. They’re the hardest. Don’t over-react like I did. Let them share their tears and thoughts and fears and be a mama bear when you feel it’s right. Keep giving them hugs. Listen more than you speak. In the end you’ll all come out of it older and wiser. #theprocess

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